Peace

The past few weeks I’ve been in the process of worrying a lot, and then not worrying at all, and then just being sort of worried enough to see if I can plan ahead… and it’s just been a big cycle of those three things.  While this cycle is sometimes normal for most people, it’s always normal for me… and when I’m not worrying at all for long periods of time, I get a little weirded out.  Like, what’s going on with me? why aren’t I worrying? isn’t all this crap supposed to make me a little nervous about life, and where I’m going in it?  Apparently, this not worrying for long periods of time thing is called “peace.”  And what better peace than that that comes from the LORD?

This morning I had some time to read my bible and journal before Brittany woke up, and yesterday I had read a verse that a friend posted on Facebook.  The verse came from Psalm 27 (v. 8), and I really loved the way it was worded… here it is now: (NLT)

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

is that not the most beautiful thing?  I get a little teary-eyed when I read it.  Not because I’m a freak of nature, but because this is how my heart has been lately… and I really, really love it.  In the Message, it goes like this:

When my heart whispered, “Seek God,”
my whole being replied,
“I’m seeking him!”

To me, they are both beautiful.  They both speak to my heart, to my soul, and they both make a desire to seek God more just swell up from within me.  So this morning I read all of Psalm 27, and I fell in love with this chapter.  It has quickly been catapulted from off of my radar, to pretty much the very center of it.  As I was wrapping up the passage, I came to the very last verse, verse 14, which reads

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

I promise you, Psalm 27 is full of goodness.  Please, if you get a chance, look it up and read it.  Spend time going verse by verse, taking in all of the LORD’s goodness and awesome love for us.

Anyways… so I read this last verse of chapter 27, and it has just become one of my favorite verses.  In the time when I was worrying about why I wasn’t worrying, I read this for the first time and fell in love.  Wait for the LORD.  Wait on His timing, His planning, His justice, His mercy, His love… wait on Him.  This came at just the right time.  I’ve been dealing with some things where I get anxious about what’s to come, or if anything will come, and reading this and verse 8 has given me the desire to not only seek the LORD himself, but to seek after His will for my life… patiently.  Even though I’m seeking after His will for my life, I don’t have to do so anxiously and in a hurry.  Good things come in time, when they’re ready to be here.  God has his own funny timing.  It rarely, if ever, matches up to the timing that we plan for ourselves.  I heard a saying once, “God is never late, rarely early, and always on time.”

Today has been a good day, of learning to wait on the LORD, of learning that my plans need to be put aside in order for me to be able to see His.  Being patient and relying on God isn’t easy, and I’m definitely going to have to work on it and keep working at it in order to even come close to perfecting that part of myself.  It is wonderful being at peace in the Lord, and today I was able to realize how long it’s been since I’ve truly been at peace.  My Father has shown me mercy, has poured out his grace and love to cover me, and now is molding my heart into understanding.  It’s a good thing, being at this place of peace.  Hopefully I can hold onto it, and hopefully I will keep pursuing the Lord and all He is laying out before me.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. (;

Love.