Adventure

There’s a part of me that longs for adventure. It longs for the adrenaline rush, and the “wow factor,” and being able to say I did something that not many other people have. There’s a part of me that longs to do something ridiculous, go somewhere crazy, and make my wildest dreams come true. There’s a part of me that longs for the wind to whip against my face as I go para-sailing. I long for the weird flabby face that is seen in all those skydiving picture. I long for the sweet sting of salt water rushing around me after I jump off of a cliff into the big blue. I long for the sun to set twice when I’m on a plane and flying to the other side of the world.

But on the same token, there’s a part of me that longs for truth. For vulnerability, and transparency, and openness. There’s a part of me that longs for the people I’m around all day to be honest and open with one another, even if the honesty is ugly. There’s a part of my heart that longs for an adventure within friendships, relationships. Because, there are adventures in friendships and relationships. Look at David and Jonathan — Jonathan’s father wanted to kill David, and Jonathan helped him escape and even after being separated for years and having their friendships tested in so many ways, they were still best friends. What an adventure! I’m not saying I want to help my best friend escape from the grasps of my father’s potentially murderous hands, but it would be pretty exciting for something crazy to happen. To have a friendship tested like that in so many ways. Jonathan and David were completely open and honest to one another, no matter what that honesty looked like. David and Jonathan were transparent and honest with each other about things, like Saul’s desire to kill David. Their honesty stood, even though it hurt and it was ugly and no body wanted it to be true.

Why aren’t our friendships so based on truth and love for one another like that? Why don’t we have friendships that are honest, in a gentle way, so that we can confide in one another and love one another and show Jesus to one another like we should be doing? Why is it such a big deal to be completely honest with people? Best friends, or casual ones.

I’m not sure why I’m choosing now to make such a big fuss about this. I’m not sure why I’m making a big fuss about it anyways. Well, nevermind — I do know. I’m making such a big fuss because I want to have that sort of honesty in my friendships. I want that sort of honesty in my relationships. It can start with one person, or two, I’m okay with that. But eventually, I want to be able to be honest with most of the people I know, and the ones I will come to know. I don’t mean dropping my whole life story into a friend’s lap… not that kind of openness and honesty. But being able to hold each other accountable on the little things. Being able to share joy, and laughter, and sorrow and tears with each other. Being able to share in the hard times as well as the good. Being able to walk with each other in the times of harvest and also in the desert.

Maybe I’m asking too much. Maybe that sort of relationship with people is only acceptable for a few friendships. Maybe that sort of relationship is reserved for that “one.” Or maybe that sort of relationship isn’t even attainable anymore.

All I know is that the Lord has made me joyful always, and He has put this desire for a deeper relationship than the ones I have now. Perhaps the only way to get that relationship is through having that sort of relationship with Him. Perhaps He is the only one who I would ever be able to have that sort of relationship with… He’s the only one who hasn’t ever thought poorly of me, and He’s the only one who loves me no matter what I’ve done or will ever do. It’s humbling, saying that. Hearing myself say that the Lord will love me no matter what.

That leads me on to an upcoming blog about following faith, not feelings, when it comes to life.

“My heart rejoices in the LORD; in the LORD my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance.”
1 Samuel 2:1

That verse doesn’t really have anything to do with what I’ve been rambling about, except for the first and last parts.

My heart rejoices in the LORD and for I delight in your deliverance. How sweet are these words! It’s true… My heart does rejoice in the LORD! And I do delight in His deliverance! I can’t get over how amazing our God is. How much He loves us. How much we deserve the punishment of death, yet the LORD has delivered us from the dirty hands of sin and we can dance in His courts now. And, oh, how I cannot wait to dance.