This is my follow-up from last week. ugh.

So, what did I tell you? I’m pretty horrible at posting things. *Sigh*

I think I remember what I was going to talk about in my second post about St. Augustine, but it was a week ago, so just deal with it as I try and fumble through this.

Saint Aug was good for my heart in a lot of ways, but in ways that I didn’t think it would be. Does that make sense? But at the same time, I prayed for the trip to be good for my heart. Here’s some numbered things about how it was good. look below.

St. Augustine was good for my heart in that….

1. I realized that I really do need alone time, but alone time doesn’t necessarily mean seclusion from the world. By that, I mean that I had my “alone time” when I was talking to people, or sitting on a bench on St. George Street, or eating lunch on the patio of some restaurant. My alone time consists of people. That’s weird, and not really alone time. But it worked. And I loved it.
2. I realized that my desire to travel may not actually be a desire at all. Like, maybe what people think are the desires of their hearts aren’t really the desires of their hearts at all. Has anyone ever thought of that? My itch to get out of Kissimmee was relieved by my trip, yes, but maybe I don’t actually have this great big wanderlust affair with the world. Maybe I sort of would love to see the world, but maybe that’s not my heart’s desire at all. I’m still toying with this idea, so it’s a bit rough. Don’t tear me to shreds over it, okay?
3. The Lord knows what’s good for my heart, and when it needs to be good for my heart. That little hole-in-the-wall used bookstore on Cordova? That was good for my heart. The ‘made in the USA’ shop I went into to find things for Tomahawk Terpstra? That was good for my heart. The store I went into that had absolutely nothing that was fairtrade, so I walked out empty handed? That was good for my heart. The quiet strolls I took in the mornings while most people were still lying asleep in their beds? That was good for my heart.

All these things were good for my heart. It was nice to be alone, but not really alone. It was good to see how the Lord was working in my life. St. Augustine was more of a heart trip than it was just a get-away. That may not make sense. None of this may make sense. All I know is that my heart has been restored to a certain level.  Some old wounds were opened up, and some wounds were healed, and now only some pretty interesting scars remain. Some heart issues were dealt with and overcome, and some heart issues were just then surfacing. St. Aug was good. It was so good. I still need to sort out and process a few things. I’ve got another post coming which is just going to be the last part of a conversation I had with the Lord on Wednesday. It was good. The Lord is good.

Megan.