Anger Management

Today, I smashed my favorite coffee mug against the ground. I was just so angry.

You see, I had a presentation today.

I was late to class.

I did a terrible job during the presentation.

Someone poked fun at me for doing such a terrible job during the presentation.

I got angry. I was angry during the presentation. I was angry when I realized I was going to be late for class. I was angry when I was printing off handouts in the library.

I was angry.

And when I left that classroom, the idea to smash that freaking coffee mug was already planted in my brain. The only reason I didn’t do it right when I thought about it was because there were people around. I was on campus. People would ask questions. Maybe even scold me.

Scold me for being angry because I did a terrible job during a presentation because I was ill-prepared.

So I let the idea of smashing that damn mug swell. The idea got such great feedback from the rest of me that I drove straight to the dumpster area behind my apartment complex. I got out of the car, walked into the dumpster gates. I took a deep breath, thought for a moment if I really wanted to smash my favorite mug.

I don’t think I’ve ever swung my arm so fast before. I don’t think I’ve ever thrown anything so hard.

And the sound of ceramic smashing against concrete filled my ears and reverberated off my brain and off the walls surrounding the dumpsters and it felt good. Instant gratification. Instant satisfaction. Instant relief.

The only thing I regret is that I didn’t use a different mug this morning. But then again, part of the satisfaction is knowing that I’m not actually attached to anything.

I’ll take my version of anger management over yours any day. Maybe I’ll start buying plates at Goodwill or wherever and just smash them when I’m angry.

They do similar things in Japan, so I’m sure it’s okay.