Guide me!

Today I was privileged enough to hang out with my dear friend and her three little ones for a while. I haven’t seen them in a few months, not since before Cambodia, so today was so wonderful being able to sit and chat with her. Also, she made homemade pumpkin spice lattes. They were beautifully delicious.

Anyways, I always love being with this sweet woman because she’s full of wisdom and laughter and kindness and she’s real. There’s not a lot of faking when it comes to her — she tells it how it is, often times with gentleness and respect. (I say often because no one is always gentle and respectful.) She speaks of life; of children and raising them, of husbands and working alongside them, of family and loving them. She speaks of life like she should — as a gift. Life is a gift, and she knows that.

I love sitting and just listening to her talk, and I love that she listens to me speak. There is an ebb and flow during conversation that is comfortable. She speaks, I listen. I speak, she listens. No one speaks, we both listen. Repeat.

I like it this way. I like the easy friendship we have where we don’t really have to speak to each other at all, where silence is perfectly acceptable. I like that she takes my questions and thoughtfully answers them. I like that she takes her time to answer them, and that her answers are real and not glossed over. Questions about her kids, about her relationship with her husband, about her past, about what she thinks of [insert anything, really].

I like having friendships like this. Older women, though not really that old at all, who don’t mind spending time and investing in me. A lot of times I see young men being ministered to by older men, helping to guide them through life and mentor them.

I rarely see that with women. This makes me sad, because so many women (young and old) need mentoring, or someone to invest into. I’ve never seen Titus 2:3-5 played out in real life. I’m not married nor do I have children, but these are some of the desires of my heart — I do want to be married eventually, I do want an army of children myself. (Six would be nice.)

You may be surprised at how often I pray for a mentor for my life. Maybe I’m picky, but the women in my life right now, who I would consider going to in anything, aren’t always available. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually. And I’m not saying this out of bitterness or whathaveyou… I’m just saying something that I’ve noticed. Who is investing into their lives, helping them along with their husbands, children, jobs, relationships? How can I ask someone to invest in me and pour into me if there’s no one pouring into them?

Does a mentor have to be older than the mentee? Should a mentor have a mentor of their own? Should I even be praying for a mentor, looking for one, hoping for one?

This may be silly, writing about this. I would also like to point out that I am not in any way saying that the friend I spent time with today is or is not a mentor. I think a lot of people can mentor others in a lot of ways.

But I do pray for a mentor. The type is there for life. A life-friend. The kind you see in movies. Maybe I’m just dumb.